Talkwards

Summer is nearing its end, autumn leafs are everywhere, yellow, red and brown… unless you’re in australia… eh or by the equator?

Regardless, this is kind of a hoax since I’m writing this in March.  But still, I’ve discovered the timed post, and so, this hour being very special I’ve decided to take advantage of that.

So happy ninth of the ninth of the ninth of….  well you get the gist of it…

Humans are  in fact not that different to other species. We make a little bit more complex sounds and our territorial behavior is a bit more involved, but to say we’re the crown of creation is rather self involved. The most that can be said about mankind’s standing in the family of species is that we’re the black sheep, or the obnoxious kid sibling everybody has to put up with, or mom and pop will give them a hairy eyeball.

The two news items (1 and 2) depicted to the right arrived in my news reader at the same time. This may be the most truthful testimony to the inner workings of the bank crisis and the possibly incoming recession. It gives us, the rest of the world, a ballpark idea of what needs to happen in the US before lawmakers over there realize they have to stand up to their responsibilities.

Then again, had they made laws keeping control over activities in board rooms, by middle management and brookers in general they might not have had to vote on a $700 bn bailout plan in the first place… perhaps?

Oh, well… 8-/

I woke up this morning after having gotten about 5 hours of sleep, however, I’ve snoozed wildly for about two hours so I was in fact in real trouble. Crawling to the edge of the bed and forcing my legs over the side I happened to look at the clock which simply confirmed my creeping suspicions: I was late beyond repair and then some.

I fell back on the bed on my back moaning. Just as I realized I was on my back, and with no snoozed clock at that the thought popped up in my head: “This will bad endly…” (No that’s not a translation or anything, I’ve been known to have my mind invaded by English from time to time.)

Which brings me to the topic of this post: Talking backwards, or as the proper phrase would be, Balking Tackwards (in forgiving circumstances it can be paraphrased to: Balking Talkwards… if that is indeed the purpose of the backtalking…)

Basically what you do is swapping consonants, nouns, vowels or even whole words. If there’s only one of them just switch its place. Don’t let things like word limits stop you, you can take a word like unseemly and turn it into suneemly as easily… Here are a few examples, I am sure you can come up with tons of more!

Even though the baby-talk factor is pretty high, the purpose, if an exercise like this one needs a purpose, is to have fun until something like balking talkwards, or badding endly comes up.

One warning however. Don’t do this if your are over 65. They might come and take you to the doctor and/or home if you talk like this… (I’m looking forward to it myself…)

You may have heard of the Large Hadron Collider or perhaps concerns about its safety, and if not you may still have come across this funny web page to test if it has destroyed the world yet.

Check the source for the last one as well, there are a few laughs. Their test to see if the world has ended is:

if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == "undefined")) {
    document.write("YUP.");
} else {
    document.write("NOPE.");
}

If the undefined variable worldHasEnded is not “undefined” then there’s some really spooky stuff going on… like the end of the world… otherwise we’re all safe and sound. In the same spirit I’m offering a test for world destruction for Java (and possibly C++ and other object oriented languages as well):

System.out.print("Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet? ");
if (this == null) {
    System.out.println("Yes!");
}
else {
    System.out.println("Nope");
}

Is the object running this test not existing any more… then risk is neither is the rest of the world…

Of course, we’ll have to wait until sometime in the end of October or beginning of November before they actually start colliding protons… and then perhaps the world will end…

Small beauties in programming… and not all of them are made up either ;o)

DoNothing:

function DoNothing() {
Nothing();
}

Find one error:

private static final int TWENTYFOUR = 24;
private static final int THIRTYEIGHT = 32;
private static final int FOURTYTWO = 42;

In case you wondered. Sure, programming can be humorous, but this is more about looking at programming with humor. Or, well I’ve found a few funny things I’d like to share… XML is like violence: if it doesn’t solve your problem, you’re not using enough of it.

People who make buttumptions about their search and replace options, will be embarbutted when they repeat this clbuttic mistake.